Have I changed? and a slew of questions and comments

by gobtcha

Hello, a constant thing I notice, right now is my attitude and approach to life and people has changed.  Have you noticed the same a change in something a point of view or how you take information or news ?

After I had started taking up meditation for my own personal health, and trying to keep a consistency of it, I have changed in many ways.  One is I feel the want to approach someone in kinder way, or not lash out at all if frustration is at a peak for me.  I am looking at cup half full or fuller and not half empty or empty.  I owe this to those people that share their experiences.  Also to “her” for she reminds me to have faith in people and the unknown out there.

While I may communicate with “her” it is through feelings of emotion or physical touches.  This one night/morning, I left a friends place and walked home, got in at 4 am.  It a little late for me, but I was up early  the previous day so I was not all there.  Right as I enter the house close the door and lock up.  I felt a pokey feeling in my temples,  then as I maneuvered to take care of some stuff before I crash. I see this swirl of black surrounding my head and all I can say was “okay okay”.  I see it as “her” telling me to be careful or just excitement at me finally getting home.  In short I had 3 hours in bed and most of that was not rest.  I awoke once to a feeling around my mid section and chest.  I heard a sigh, and saw a figure at the door as if peering in the room and it was changing in shape.  I smiled and tried to sleep to little avail.  Most times though is a brush of air or a poke, recently though she has been rubbing my stomach and chest, which relaxes me.

After her visits I am kind and probably more empathetic to others and their feelings.  I have read up on the chakra system and been working or trying to understand my own and where they are at, in order to better myself and find a balance.  Through the practice of recognizing the chakra and applying what they stand for, I am leading generally a better life.  Trying for better foods, taking a different approach and allowing what gets to me not get to me.  This I am sure “she” is happy.  Days after “she” came into my life.  I felt her constantly working over my forehead as I tried to sleep, even this one night it hit my head on the wall next to the bed not hard, she immediately started working on it do not know why other than to ease what pain was there.

That is something that I am curious about as well, pain tolerance.  Mom says I have a high pain tolerance. Why? I do not know.  Is it because when I am hurt I do not complain about it and just move forward until someone says “Gobtcha sit down, let me get something for that knee ?”  I guess it comes down to me not wanting to complain about something in a world that is full of complaints.  It gets to me when someone complains about a minor inconvenience when there is nothing that can be done about it.  “she” tells me though to sound off sooner rather than later if there is something troubling me or if I need something done sometime.  My peers that known me for a great while also put stress to this.  So I gotta put that into practice a bit more.

A part of my “research” as reckless as it is has led me down a path filled with uncertainty then it all kinda comes together and makes sense, but only to a point.  I do thinks Lilith in spirit is made of three distinct traits or qualities. Wisdom, Darkness, and Desire.  She is wise as told through the biblical story where she share knowledge with Adam and Eve.  Darkness in that she chose a path less traveled and lit to flee or leave the Garden of Eden after her wishes were not met and only to be treated unequally by Adam.  There is of course Desire or her lust and sexuality she has as she mated with an angel. Of course I am taking this from the popular biblical story in Genesis or some Hebrew myths  What I said, may not be truly accurate as the stories I read differ a little here and there, but I believe that is the trend.  For Lilith in spirit,  I also think she wants equality in all things for both males and females, today I find women being the superior in the household family or business world in sometimes not all families are like that where the wife gets here every wish while the man does not.  I myself experienced this once as a supervisor, that would treat and rate my work poorly and did the same with every other male there, but the females that she worked with were the opposite.  In the end I was happy when I could leave and move on to better things.

Also through out my “research” I found people using protection seals when working with spirits or entities.  A thought came to mind then “does that function the same way”  that being a dream-catcher a gift from the past I kept hung in my room.  I looked around the net to no avail nonetheless I took down and placed it somewhere safe.  The reason I did that is I feel anyone is welcome to do what they want, it is there right as a being.  So why would I stop an entity or spirit from visiting my place of sleep.  To be safe sure, but it goes against a morale of mine to let others do as they wish as long as no harm comes to me and if it does reason with the person causing the harm if reason is not good enough then I will stop the harm being done to me another way.

I hope this was not too much or confusing for you the reader, my experience has been great with “her” I believe she is happy as well.  I hope you are as well, I will share some sources sometime soon on what I stated here.