Dr. visit and a bit more.
Hello, I hope things are well.
Saw the neurologists yesterday, to review a nerve study. It seems I have pinched nerves in the wrist of my left hand the guys says it may be carpal tunnel, I see it as I spend too much time on the keyboard and mouse and explains many other issues with my hands I dealt with as a kid and to the present. He also said I got pinched nerves in the lower back and neck, which could be from lifting heavy objects or in general strain on the muscle. I see it as I helped move furniture as a kid when the great uncle and last of grandparents passed when I was around seven years of age. Even the pass few years I worked as a dishwasher, having to move around a lot getting the plate to the cooks plate keeping my work area clean is tough during a four hour rush. Although I do not do that work anymore life throws hard work my way anyway. On top of that he increased the charge on my VNS implant (Google is your friend) so I get to get use to a shock going through my neck again which is not a big deal, just inconvenient for about a week as the feeling becomes natural. Lastly he wants me to do more blood work which is fine, but the insurance did not cover my last bill from the lab. This time of year is not good for the finances so the family is stressed about it. The last bill was 300$ not good for a family in debt.
At one point when mom finally heard the whole story of the visit she was stressed out and full of anxiety so I gave her a hug. As I hugged her though I practiced a bit of a breathing technique to relax her or myself as I felt her body finally relaxed a bit I myself was relaxed. Although she is not still happy today, I got a feeling what I did helped her relax and not get an anxiety attack of sorts. My question though is did “she” help me calm mom down a bit, or was it what “she” influenced me to practice recently to help mom. I must also note earlier in October I instinctively or naturally did the same with dad as he sees the number of the finances and there were a lot bills to handle at that time.
Either way, I apologize if this rant, writing has brought you the reader down a bit. You should always look up and see it half full and not empty. It just sometimes hard not to keep the mess I deal with to myself and “her” if she is listening. Which I think she is, listening and there sometimes.
Last night while clearing my mind for awhile before I sleep. I was sitting there and I felt a presence surround me, my thoughts shifted to “her” and thought about a small desire a simple hug. Then I felt what I can say a tingle feeling wrapped around me. Is that “her” I like to think so. So I then decided it was best to sleep and rest my mind and body as the day was emotionally kinda hard for me. I slept well and got up a bit early for my body clock as well. I have to thank “her” and others who have me in my thoughts. Now after writing this I feel a little bit at peace and ready for the what the rest of day brings.
If, you the reader wish for me to share my experience working with epilepsy please feel free to say so. I will only if you the reader wants to read such a thing.
Thanks for reading