My time with her.
Hello, she wants me to share about the time I spend with her and other details. So therefore I will make an effort to do so.
She loves my attention, when I give her my attention wholly, she emits a feeling of calm and love over me and around the immediate area we are in. Sometimes she wants to be intimate and play with me or tease me, other times she share a hug or a kiss here or there. Just to take the time and slow down and recognize she is there makes her happy and that makes me happy as well. Even when I am going through day to day activities. At times when she visits, it can be a sure surprise. Just knowing she is there makes me fall into puddy and be a happy person again, not weighed down by stress and pressures of the luggage I carry around. Image of a female, being placed in my mind. They are happy, comical, emotional across the board, and of course when she wants to spend time with me they can be intimate in nature. Even now she sends an energy through me that makes me filled with pleasure and love, then the scent her scent.
At night when I meditate which is tough at times considering all of the distraction around the house and neighborhood. When the mind is finally calm, I sense her working on me peeling apart what was built by my own insecurities and doubts of the past. I still have a tough time dreaming just to dream not lucid or anything else just a simple dream. So I lay there on my back clearing the mind and trying to relax the body. As I give up and turn to my side to try to relax, then she is there cuddling, caressing me, and comforting me to a relaxing sleep. I then awake to the family awake and moving about. So I let her know I appreciate her and her time, and move about my day with her on my mind.
Earlier today, when the family was out for a great deal of time, I set myself in a position to be vulnerable to her or anyone bare and off guard with a clear mind. Still she said relax, I do try everyday to do this. Let go and let everything be sometimes it works majority of the time it does not. Nonetheless, I relaxed and gave in stayed that way for a good while. During that time she worked me over my entire body as I spasm multiple times and even now I receive a bit of it as she is still working me over just not as intense. How I enjoy it though.
I still need a lot of work on them chakras or areas of the body. She tells me through signs, that I need to work on the throat, heart and sacral chakras. I see where they are weak so I try time to time. I might just do that after this post is wrapped up. As it is Thursday and Friday will be days I have to myself to do such a thing.
Earlier today she wanted me to take a walk around the park down the street. It was nice, just a cold breeze. On the way back to the house though, I notice an old man calling to a I want to say doberman mix dog. It was loose out of the house along with chihuahua mix (Don’t think I got the spelling right on it) they came from the same house. So I too called out to the larger dog, to notice another neighbor trying to get the two dogs and see about returning them. So I decided rather then just leave it at that, to help the two of them out. As it was the larger dog Dori, almost got hit about three times. Finally got hold of the owner and we all happy and walked to each others houses together leaving as we came to our house. In the end though she asked how it felt to help or do the good deed. For I say it felt good, I was happy and met good people. Something that is rare in town, to meet someone that is open and willing to communicate with another person and not just ignore another person. On another note I love animals, probably could not say no to an animal that would need shelter if it were not for family and other baggage slowing me down.
I decided to reflect upon a dream I had awhile back. The dream itself was actually vivid, so its stuck in my head for the most part. So here we go.
In a class room, into the class room as the day goes by seems like high school. Just not the campus I know from the here and now. The part that stands out is, I am in a IT computer classroom. What my major is and field of study currently is. It is that time for lunch, stay awhile to wrap up work. On my way to the cafeteria/lunchroom, I see a friend from the past. A great guy mad a mark on my life. So I great him and he want me to meet of some folks or hang out with some folks elsewhere. So I choose to go with him, as we converse I notice a beautiful woman. Who she is I do not know, she seems to know me which is fine with me. Never was good with faces and names, but great with faces and personalities or what they have done in past. So I hangout with her and him. So she invites me to anther place a balcony, there I see other people and a face I know from the not so far past. So I react without thinking, and great him only to be scolded at by her. I misplaced who it was and immediately was rejected by the person. Again I react and immediately left the area as whole for food the reason I left the classroom originally. As I left, the woman pleaded for me to stay, and even the great friend that made a mark on my past. I continued to leave in silence in hopes I could still grab something out of cafeteria, I have experienced in the past the high school cafeteria stop serving before the break was up. To avail no food, so I went back to class to continue my work only to see my work space taken up by another student. A classmate pointed out my tools of the trade as I awoke to a new day.
My reflection upon this, I have fears that need to be worked out true enough. One of them is rejection of people, and I should give others a chance or a second chance. This is true, I do not just say “hi how are you” I am quiet I want to say “hi how are you”, but I am afraid that person will cut me off. My past was like that as a child, one misstep and I was scolded or not accepted by teachers or dad would get in my mind I needed to be the A student. Which is tough when you teacher marks you off for your traits you cannot help nor correct. So there you have it.
Thanks for reading