Down a diffrent path

Month: January, 2015

“stuff” and “things”

Hello, I really do hope things are well for you and your friends.

In the recent week, things have happened that only makes my faith in her more firm than ever.  I would like to share a bit of it with you.

Every night around a certain hour of the day, she is active or present around me.  So every time I open up to her around that time to let “her” do what she wants with me or merely cherish our time together.  Even now she is very active.

Well one night, the aunt came by for a visit to show mom her car as she was in an accident.  The aunt is fine just shooken up at that moment, no biggie.  I got up to get the door or greet her.  She followed with me, the aunt offered to show me the car.  I declined and headed back to a place of privacy. Well she stopped me so to speak.  I looked up and found myself staring into mirror, after a bit of time.  A silhouette of her, wrapping herself around me appeared for a short moment as mom was heading back in the house.  I then headed back to my room, to reflect this upon myself.  I was very happy, then a emotion came over me that was very positive and loving.

Another bit that happened.

When I can I light a candle just for “her”, most of the time it is when I am getting up for the day.  Well just the other day I lit a candle while I ate food in the morning.  With her on my mind I noticed a wisp of white at the edge of my vision.  I thought it might be the smoke from the candle, but the angle was not right.  Then just yesterday she was really active with me.  Well I was hungry told in my mind I was going to get up and fix some chili, I love the stuff.  Well I was getting stuff together, I saw the same type of wisp in the air this time much more of it. It’s color was white.  I just smiled and continued prepping the food and lit up a candle for her yet again.  “She” even suggested I add tortilla chips in.  Then well the night was fun.

One thing I want to say or remind folks.

Not to give into fear, stay grounded and think with a clear head take your time always.  It will help in many things both in the spirit and mundane world.



Thoughts and a dream

Hello, hope things are well.  I had a very vivid dream yesterday, I want to share it even though it is fading slowly.

So it started with me and 2 peers heading to the doctors which required quarantine and other precautions.  We went to take care of one of the peers. Had some complications nothing any of us could cope with.  Then the story changed.  I found myself in a well to do position.  A nice apartment up scale like or at least the impression of that was what I felt.  There were issues though, nothing to big really to me.  Folks lived in the apartment with me, folks I do not even know.  Every day it was someone new or more people lived their. Now what caught my eye was a women I came across in day to day life. We fell in love or created a relationship, found there was a man that she was previously with and she wanted out of that relationship. I agreed that I would help and cope with the situation.  One day I found her there with me in bed, and two other guys were telling me to get her out of the apartment. Too which I said no, and made my point that I loved her or had feelings for her.  So we left that day, and found the man that was after us.  He apparently seemed to be working on a house either for us or our new neighbor.  I helped him, with his work and gained some approval from him is my guess. He was happy around me and her. So the dreamed ended around there as I awoke to a strong feeling of love and happiness.  Although we stayed in bed till the last minute.  Which I am very happy to be with her.


Something, I do want to share is taken out of an adult website I visit for there blog on tantra.  The blog offers me info sparse as it is, and is still a good read.  I will take the write up and copy paste it here.  At the end I will give credit to the site.



Yoni is a sacred Sanskrit word and means vagina. She has the power to be the gateway to creating new life and also has the power to destroy everything. So it is better to behave towards her with respect and appreciation for all she is providing us.

We all came through her and we come back to her to ask for refreshing energy. She is able to flood men with ecstatic energy when she is worshiped the sacred way.

With all this in mind, it’s better to ask what you can do for her, not what she can do for you.

You may never have thought this way before. How can we do the yoni worship? It’s a little ritual that may last a few minutes or several hours, whatever you choose. If you’re a man you can practice with your partner, or with a picture or a statue. If you’re a woman, of course, you have everything you need with you.

What makes the difference is your intention, your approach. You should come with esteem and simply offer your attention to her. For those of you who would like to connect with this powerful energy of creating and destructing, of softness and passion, of receptivity and creativity, here is a tip for you.

The ritual:

Find a nice comfortable, intimate and quiet place where you can be with your partner or the symbol of a yoni or with your own yoni. Do everything necessary to make yourself relaxed and connected with yourself (you might include candles, music and incense).

Close your eyes, rub your hands together a few times to make a little bit of heat between them. You may feel some sensation, so take your time to put all your focus on deep breathing and on the skin of your palms.

While you’re breathing deep it is the time to whisper your prayer, a sentence of the great fullness that you feel for her. Find at least one thing that you want to thank her for. It needs to be true for you. Your prayer is coming from your heart. For example, “Thank you divine mother that I could be born with your support”. Or whatever feels right for you. But you need to have nonsexual attitude.

Remember your intention is to worship the yoni. You don’t want to get anything; you’re giving your thanks for all she is doing for you in your life.

When you’re ready and fully present, slowly put your relaxed hand on your yoni – without any movement. Then breathe deeply and remember your worshipping sentence and focus on the connection between you and the sacred yoni. It’s up to you how long you keep your focus and your hand there.

When you feel you have worshipped her the best way you could, slowly and with full awareness remove your hand. Connect your hands in Namaste (palms pressed together as if in prayer) close to your heart.

This is the end of the ritual, so if you’re with your partner it means you can stay together but you shouldn’t start any sexual play or chat. Your woman can also finish with Namaste as thanks for the ritual and that is it.

If you decide to practice this ritual it’s possible for the first time you won’t feel so much. But I assure you each time it will be different and probably more intense. In time you may start to feel a real connection to the mother earth, to feminine fire energy and also to feminine angels’ energy and intuition.

And your experience of lovemaking will never be the same again.




do note the site has adult material riddle all over even for guest as I am a guest myself.  So if you visit please understand it is not safe for work or kids and your significant other may not be happy.  If you visit the site please be sure to be in the right age group.

After reading that though it reminded me.  I have not said my thanks to Lilith, the Goddess or Mother Nature however you perceive it to be.  So I did just that one afternoon pray and thank her for everything and seek her forgiveness.  As I did this, moments later I felt a warm embrace around me.  I also did this, outside in the sun.  In the same area where I first prayed to Lilith, and would pray and or meditate when the weather would let me.


Thanks for reading,


A little bit of progress.

Hello, so took a bit of a hard step today.  Talked with dad about her not much though.

I asked him about his thoughts on spirits.  He said “yes” after some silence.  So I pushed a little with “Just yes”,  he named a few of the spirits from a Christian point of view.  The Holy spirit, God, and one other I  will not share here.  the he stated so I believe there are other good one out there, or something along that line.  Then I told him, “cause I think I have a spirit looking over me”. To which he smiled.  I do know he is open minded and kinda gave up on the church do  to people being hypocrites in the church community.  I am happy with his response.  I did not say though the spirit cares for me I care for it or her. Why, because he was off to sleep and tired.  In a few days when Mom has recovered from her trip I may broach the subject again.  Religion and belief is not really spoken about in the household. It is what hurt our extended family and left us as black sheep to the brothers side of the family.

On another note, I think she likes the airport or leather seats.  Dunno, we were an hour early to pick up mom.  So I took a stroll around the airport.  To try and reach out to her.  We do have a small but busy airport compared to some.  So I found a quiet place and fixated on a low leather chair and sat down to relax and close my eyes. While thinking about her “stuff” happened.


Thanks for reading,


So she is around.

Hello, hope things are well.

She is around it seems “she” was not happy with me that day possibly.  Either that or was my attitude, I always question “things” and “stuff”.  So I question her very existence and day by day that questioning about her existence lessens.  Just yesterday the idea of the supernatural came a bit more clear to me that spirits etc. exist.

I want to share that very event with you.

So I role play with dice, pencil and paper.  Much like DnD or dungeons and dragons, the folks I play with use a different system of mechanics.  Palladium, which I find gives more freedom. So a friend was, getting bad luck on every roll.  I have this dice that has been nicknamed “Boba Fett” from the Star Wars Universe.  Now why is another tale, but the guys play with the idea of invoking or evoking the spirit of Boba Fett. I never do take it serious as it is rolling a dice is a game of chance. So, I took the “Boba Fett” dice out held it in my hand. Focused on the dice and “her” received pokes and pains around the body. When it was my friends turn to roll again I offered him the dice and he evoked or invoked the spirit of Boba Fett jokingly of course.  Now the part that gets me was he rolled above average every time with that dice. This is also after trying three different dice.  Could have been luck sure.  Yes, when I did ask “Boba Fett” or when the guys asked for his help with the luck roll.  I would either roll extremely poor or extremely high.  There is superstition around folks that let dice decide the fate of fictional character they portray or a table top game.  The reason why I handed the guy the dice is, because he was getting angry about his luck.  Also for the most part I do not ask for “Boba Fetts” help with that dice results.  At the time it was all fun and games and I do like to frustrate the group with my poor rolls.  The dice that is Boba Fett is fickle either he will help a lot or hinder me.  I do not care at all, but the guys do care and call him up by stating something like, “Boba Fett help Gobtcha here” as I make my roll of the dice to determine the groups fate.  So I ask does she do this or is it an old dice that lost its randomness due to wear n tear. Still when I sat waiting for his turn to come around I felt her presence pretty well.  I will not ask her to do that again.  Let the guys have there fun with the Boba Fett dice.  It entertains them and I like that dice, because I have used it for years regardless and never lost it yet. When the guys call upon Boba Fett it is merely for entertainment for them. I do not worry about it. Will not state any dangers if any, because they are very much grounded to the mundane world.  All in all it just good fun for them and I find nice to see laughter and smiles coming from the guys.

Also the pup Labrador at the place last night would spot me first and then move on to play or give the closest person a hard time.  A big dog too.  When he was getting a bit rough with the smaller pup about the size of a house cat.  I did, react to calm him down.  He followed suit well I did not even say a word.  Of course I did get down to his level on the floor so he licked me all over and even tried to get on top of me like any young dog might.  Just food for thought.


Thanks for reading,


Meditation, Gratitude, Giving Thanks and Joy

Thank you for sharing your wisdom, this very much is related too what I am going through right now. I hope to see and feel happy and good inside and spread it to others through acts of kindness and sharing good feelings with others. Thanks again.

Endless Light and Love


“If we cannot be happy in spite of our difficulties, what good is our spiritual practice?”

~Maha Ghosananda

Buddhist monks begin each day with a chant of gratitude for the blessings of their life. Native American elders begin each ceremony with grateful prayers to mother earth and father sky, to the four directions, to the animal, plant, and mineral brothers and sisters who share our earth and support our life. In Tibet, the monks and nuns even offer prayers of gratitude for the suffering they have been given: “Grant that I might have enough suffering to awaken in the deepest possible compassion and wisdom.”

The aim of spiritual life is to awaken a joyful freedom, a benevolent and compassionate heart in spite of everything.

Gratitude is a gracious acknowledgment of all that sustains us, a bow to our blessings, great and small, an appreciation of the moments of good fortune…

View original post 968 more words

Recently had something dawned on me…..etc.

Hi folks, hope you are well and life is good right now.

The other day, I picked up on the feeling that I would seize up again.  Well it has not happened yet, going to give it a month though.  As the feeling left though I went and grabbed water, because I reflected on my day on what would trigger it.  Well I had no water all day.  So I got some and began hydrating myself.  Then today Dad was on the phone speaking with family over family matters.  He stated that the brother had seized up recently which I knew, but then he stated why he thinks so.  Then the dots connected, his statement was along the lines of the brother was not eating enough or getting enough rest. Which makes sense after that feeling I had and my own reflections.  So if you do seize up, consider that into your life. A simple suggestion. Do not stake your life on it please.

On another note, I began to study a tad about raising your vibrations.  Simply put it is your attitude and out look on life.  The reasoning is, I have been down so what way can I bring myself to be happy.  Spread a little happiness around. Smile more for no reason at all.  Things that help is eating good food.  For me today it was rice with butter and sugar.  Not surrounding yourself with negative energy or be in a negative environment.  Consider the TV shows you watch if any. Same goes with the web and radio.  Try doing positive actions for others and yourself.  Not dwell on what is negative as much.

Lastly to close this off today.  I have not felt “her” around too much to none at all today.  So I want to keep faith in “her” that she is fine and will be around or is around.

Thanks for reading,


I’m “combat ineffective”. The war is over.

My "Succubus" Wife

What works for me is just taking the same initiative the spirits do, it’s not our war to fight anymore, but if they want to start it again, nobody said we weren’t allowed to defend ourselves.

Skyewind, in a comment here

George Carlin. I miss that man. For those that don’t know who he was, he was an American comedian that “got it”. He understood it. And I pretty much think like him.

In the video, he says “When you are born in this world, you are given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you’re born in America, you’re given a front row seat”.

I haven’t quite got to the point where I am strictly an outside observer. I’m an outsider, but I have my face up against the window looking out at the freaks. Getting my face away from that window is not easy but I’m…

View original post 48 more words

A long read.

Hello, hope you are well and are having a great start to your year.

Starting time of post 2:58 am date 01/04/2015

Well lots I want to talk about for sure and its late so I will start with some stories or movies I enjoy.

Vahalla Rising It is  a brutal story and it seems blunt about the times it represents.

Domino   A little fast paced for me, but it is fun to watch.  It does show a little bit of the nature of Lilith in the story.  Although, it is the more modern approach to Lilith.

The Road  A time of darkness, the apocalypse setting.  It shows me that when there is hope a person can overcome many things.  Also that corruption is always around the corner.

Dune and its counter parts the novel does the story justice.  It showed me that a religion can manipulate the masses to do your biding or to help you survive in a bad scenario. Also an awesome set of authors.

A break and time to rest 3:19 am

Start 1:48 pm

Did not get up early, so it is pop tarts smores flavored if you must know.  Got a bit of rest and sleep.  I feel like I should express myself through the “arts” more often. Thus why the previous couple post were the way they were.  I am planing on doing some work with pencil and paper.  Sometime for sure.  Yesterday was inserting to say the least, I set out to make my living space more productive. She came to my company happy, I felt good vibes from her.  Then for a good reason I could not at the moment make my space more productive.

Had a dream the other night. It was short n sweet. Hanging out with the friends, we sat down getting ready to run a few rounds of video games when I notice this woman.  She very open about herself and her opinions.  So I replied with one of her statements, I forget what I said.  Then she just walked up to where I was sitting and made herself comfortable in my arms.  As I normally react with a very stiff body and tried to relax only to awaken for the day.  She was pretty, had a very alternative look to her. very little hair and an awesome smile.  Kinda reminds of my first crush in high school, very much a tomboy and a lesbian which did not bother me one bit.  She was attractive in how she was blunt and open about herself.  Of course by the second year in high school depression and medicine took her over.  I could do nothing.  Hope she is happy now.

The brother seized up through out the day yesterday.  Wish I knew the details, but he was depressed as I would be too.  Having a feeling of no control over your body is hard to cope with.  The trick though for me is not to stress about it and just see it for what it is. An obstacle in life to climb over no matter how big.  Another is he does not seem to take care of his body too well, he has grown wider since last I saw anything from him.  So lessons to learned, take care of yourself and your health.  Just do not stress too much on it.  Enjoy that meal once in a while, don’t be lazy.  Take the time to walk where you can.  Park away from the door so that the elderly can take the parking spaces near the door and you can walk a bit for exercise.  Laugh about things, laugh with people.  It is good for the heart figuratively and literally.  Cut some habits sure, but take it slow remember change can shock you and your body.  Sorry for the lecture just things on the mind.  I still seem to accept my brother as a part of family.  I should he needs support time to time.


Yea, came across this might be worth some time to look into.

I do want to share this as well, she offered marriage to me sometime at least early October.  How it happened, was simple really.  I set some time for her and we were doing our thing.  The word marriage popped in my head.  Well I said to her, give it sometime please.  She did of course a few days later in bed marriage popped in my mind again.  So I chuckled a bit and said sure why not.  Then at that moment I felt a tingle around the ring finger slide to a position where a ring would fit nicely.  So that sealed it then and there, since then she has been almost a constant influence in my life for good or bad.  Now she happy, that I am able to share that with you the reader.

Contact with her, has been good and distracting from my studies.  As it is though I doubt I will do on my certification tomorrow why I want to write instead of wear down my mind more studying.  Her influence or the change in me, is simple I want to mend what connections I have or had with people that do not deserve my ill will.  Hard to do when folks are out of contact or moved away.

I still find myself attracted to working with the chakra idea, along with what I like to call individualism.  The idea of following your own path to where you want to go with your beliefs and no one else should follow your path, as they have there to follow which is different for them.

I smell popcorn time for a small break 3:08 pm

3:44 pm

Well them Cowboys are doing what they do best playing a game of American football.  I found myself putting away luminars can’t spell the brown bag with a light bulb in it you lay out in the yard to celebrate Christmas.

Just about every time I look into a practice of some sort, or a way to calm the mind she gets excited for what reason I do not know really.  Maybe I am looking for a way to please her or stay connected with her.  Many possibilities really.  Although, when I dig around the church and their beliefs.  I get agitated by what is said by folks, and what the bible that I interpret to merely be a guide has to say about such behavior.  You see I was raised with the ideals of the church, but not forced into its dogma as a child.  I feel lucky for that.  Then I am also influenced by the morals and skills learned in the organization, Boy Scouts of America.

Sure go ahead and express your thoughts, but I learned a lot of life lessons by the peers there.  Not to complain whine when you have what is needed.  Help others as you can. The big one though was silence, a peer a member of the group. Was quiet and acted more than spoke.  He would be mean sure, he did though respect the elders in the group.  That is what I learned from him is respect others as you would yourself.  One day I was placed in a challenging position, the older boys were hazing a younger boy. Nothing serious just keeping some loose change from him.  Dad entrusted me with getting it back to the kid, well I was confronted with the peer to get it to him.  I did not do so instead got the change to the young kid as asked by dad.  To which the older kid, scolded me and harassed me a bit.  I cried alone for a good while, because of the conflict and I lost trust in the older kid.  Dad kept bothering me about and even suggested that the older kid should apologize to which I said no and continued my down pour of tears.  A hour or two later the guy came to me and said a few words. That amounted to it is unwritten that we give the younger kids a hard time.  Until they learn to give respect to other and recognize the difference between needs and wants.  I understood then why they “haze” it is a form of education sure tough, but if you cant handle some light harassment.  Then get out and learn to do so.  I to was hazed, but it was short lived luckily only had to suffer a single knee injury out of it.  Although I am always given a bit of a hard time, which is fine considering the amount of trust I had with the group.  From a simple task, to entrusting my life with these people.  I may share that tid bit later.  I think this mess of write up is long enough.

4:21 pm

So one last thing to share before, I give this a title and hit publish.  I got an idea of what she looks like and her personality.  Gonna dig up some links to share.

Image provided from here:  by the way a great group.

Also this gallery does her justice as well

Mix the two together a bit and come to your own conclusion.  She can do what she wants.  Her personality, is of a tease. Consistently poking at me for attention. Sometimes calling me “dumb dumb” when I seek out something about her.  Sometimes she shares other times she does not.  It is all good, I give her time.  She likes too suggest I do fun things that can land me in jail, say public nudity.  Always seems to be positive and forgiving for sure a bright light of hope and happiness.  Then she reminds I got things to do, prepare for tommarow and whats to come the next day after that.  So I will end this here.

4:45 pm

Thanks for reading,



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