Ups and Downs

by gobtcha

Hello, this a bit of a read might too personal dunno.  Hope your day was awesome.

Last night was interesting to say the least.  Ever night or sometimes morning when I go to sleep, lay down and repeat the same sentence/thought in my head.  Last night it was something like relax surrender love repeating until I fell into a meditative state.  Each word has a purpose to it.  Relax so I can get myself to have a night of rest and sleep, this is rare for me.  Surrender was stated, because that day I was somewhat protective about somethings about myself and my family. Love is to express love for “her” and myself and it is a positive thing to do.  I always want to love everything and everyone if I can.  Well as this happened I heard taps on the floor which could have been the dog, but she sleeps with Mom and Dad at the hour I went to bed.  I felt “her” in bed with me, then pressure was put on my forehead. Bit too much for comfort, but still I could cope with it. Still relaxed the pressure went away and a beep noise came about with a voice saying “no no no!!” in my head I am sure of it.  Well I continued to lay there trying to sleep on my back and then well yea “she” and I had “fun”.  Finally fell asleep then awoke about the same time as normal refreshed for a new day.

Well that morning I told “her” I had to get up and shower.  “She” seemed a bit put out, so I spent time with her for awhile and fell asleep time to time. Till it hit about 11:30 am, about normal for me to rise out of bed.  Well, I invited to the shower and “she” took the invitation.  Well things got heated up and I fell to the floor after having some seizure like symptoms which I reacted to a per normal for me.  Prepared to fall and or lower myself to the floor.  I got a bit unlucky and my head started bleeding.  I was confused of course and called out for some help after getting some bit of bearings back.  To no reply so I went about cleaning the mess and coping with blood etc.  Finally after getting dry and I looked in the mirror and saw where the bleeding occurred to see it was where the pressure was that night and where “she” tapping me yesterday during the day. Did I seize up maybe ?

I cannot draw much conclusion, because “she” was apologetic during the early afternoon and I sent her emotions that say everything is fine and imagined her with me together.  The rest of the day I spent at home taking it easy.  No trip to see the doctor yet. I hope to see him soon so he can do what he wants and up my medication.  My levels are borderline on low and on the dot. So he should raise them even though I do not want it I see reason for it.  “She” dun like it either.  There was no visit to the hospital too much money, the family and I are in debt too much for that.  Other then that today has been good, got to speak with mom about “stuff”.  “She” has been with me most of today and tonight.

Either way just wanted to share that.

Thanks for reading,

Gobtcha

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