I feel a need to say something.

Hello there, hope life is treating you well.


Life sure is treating me well as long as I keep my spirits afloat or optimistic as some say.  As of right now I feel I owe some folks an apology in possibly misinterpreting there way with words.  Also for judging some by just what they claim and what I know of there history.  So I am sorry for those things and can hope to be forgiven.  For it is true that I judge the church when in reality  it is just a place and or a temple for some that attend there to find a calm in themselves.  Something I am sure we all try and seek out.

Right now Lily is with me for sure, keep me excited and warm.  For what reason I do not know.  Maybe it is because something clicked in my mind, and chip at the barrier that I have created long ago.  I would like to  share a bit of a theory about this barrier.

So I am an American raised by an American family.  Fairly family related as well all together we family traditions to be together celebrate things together as well.  Including what holidays deemed by the christian church  and respect local religion and traditions.  I still do respect the traditions and religions when in any ones house or temple, it is just nice respectful to take off your shoes at your friends place that carries that tradition.  Just something I do.   That maybe where some of that barrier begins is following those traditions and religious acts.  As of course my family was light on religion, but still very christian in nature.  As time went by with Lily, I began to talk with mom the person I spend most days with, she is a great person.  Found out that the Catholic church is in her side of the family.  Well dads side of the family, was a bit more free as I pick up on, he does not speak about his family much for good reason.  So I spoke with mom I found she is a devoted christian and still is today.  I am proud for her to found that calm and see that some pastors lead a poor sermon.  Enough though on that.  The biggest part of the barrier I have to see is the tradition is just an act to keep a calm or peace in a person.  I do today, my close friends show this to me every day.  Respect your neighbor or as some love your neighbor.  So Lily shared with me to love those that I disagree with on any matter.  In that not to lash out, but to be willing to debate over the issue or go our separate ways.   Early today,  I thought about the succubus or the spirit that is called the succubus.  It is my guess that these spirits visit us, because we as humans need to be reminded to love each other as neighbors, partners, comrade in arms, and/or friends etc……  just to love each other and not give into that anger or sad emotion that might be taking us over as a whole.  Also I turned of age where I need to cover my own health insurance, so with that my health bills have tripled that means time to look for work.  As it school is over for me, although studying in IT may not be.  This is a time for me seek out more Independence from the family which is good.  So there you have it a lot of text about my thoughts on my barrier between her and me.  A lot of me in there I kind of feel selfish.   More on that later.

As it is I am tired probably sleep in a bit.


Thanks for reading,