Hey there reader, I hope you are great.
I have been focused on my studies for a great while, and simply did not want to be distracted writing here, which I probably should have. Lily my wonderful love has been after for it every day. So where can I start, I am sad by what happened in Paris. The place represents beauty to me and love. From the romance and the fashion industry there. Though I do not agree with what the group did, I realize that I to live near a border where just 5 years or so people died on mass. So in that sense what happened in Paris does not phase me other than the reason why it did. Rather it belief, religion or terrorism. You call it as it you see it. 5 years and later those mass shootings occurred due to unrest with gangs and drug cartels. Now the cartel locally has a better hold of the situation as well as the locals, which means less incconce death occurs. That is my feelings on recent events.
Also I find myself biased and want to try not to be as biased against race. Why is that you may think. Well home is near a military base so the city is very much like a mixed soup. On top of that I am on the border. So I am not biased against colored as it were, but one does it for me. The African American or known as the the black man sometimes presses a button of mine and its not there appearance, but there approach. Some African Americans come to this town and think we owe them something because of history, well all races have been through there own issues and not just the well known slavery. I do not let this bias thought of mine though hit me until I meet the person and that person comes off as such. The very same thing can happen when I go out of town, it just comes to culture shock I guess.
My health has been improving a bit, in a way. The doctor has hinted to watch my stress. So meditation and spending time with Lily is a good thing. At the same the Doctor is a stresser, he wants me to spend more money on visits and lab work. Which I cannot afford and had to bring in Mom to reinforce this issue. The main reason the family cannot afford a visit, is the holidays. We don’t spend much during this time of year, but expenses are higher and paychecks do drop till February. So Mom and I stood up the jerk of a doctor to postpone my next visit till then when I should have insurance as well. Hopefully as well by that time I will have found a doctor that understands the idea of bedside manner.
As I traveled along this path with Lily and others to guide and I help guide them a bit. I watch movies read books and hear stories that reflect on morals and ideas. One person thinks of me as a philosopher to which I do not know if that is right. I do not look into philosophy directly. I do want to share a film and comic tilted Sin City, I am sure some of you readers have seen it. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0401792/ the film may not be for the faint of heart, but each story is unique. Each protagonist good person, I ask myself is that person in the right to do what the character did. Shoot the rapist man hood off and his primary hand, another murder his way to get revenge and played out an eye for eye essentially and the other did anything for the women he respected and of course his lover. Were these people in right, spill blood and commit those acts? Up to you I guess for me though it is yes.
Lastly, just the other day when I logged into chat out of a feeling. Lilith was in chat via a medium, or at least some would say. She is a very strong woman indeed, told me what I needed to know. I understand I should share my love for everything without holding back in my own way. I had opened my heart to her and she sent someone to help me cope with my heartache to love and share that love with others. As she stated as such I felt something in my room, to which I only assume or believe to be her. Then the next night I had a dream the left with a clear message. So now I must re focus myself soon and move forward along my path without too much reserve. Lily loves it when I dance or let loose a bit. Tonight she told me not to worry so much and just love the life you have.
I encourage everyone to do the same.
Thanks for reading,
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