Jamming to music after work.
That’s right I am listening to music I write this out. I also have changed to a job sometime in August. Awhile back and I needed the change for sure. I now work at Wal Mart, stocking shelves over night for the grocery area at a super center. This means I am getting 30 hours a weak plus. Although I work nights so I don’t get to see much of my friends which a bit sad in a way, but I am adjusting well. Happy enough I can support myself financially a bit better now. Meeting my health insurance bills and student loan on time and even pay more into my loan then recommended. All this leads to less stress and more time for less worry. On top of this my new neurologist I saw, supports a more natural approach if possible also he is a very kind person and the staff is great as well. All very good, my frequency of seizures have been the same, although that may change in January when I see him again. So it has been very good for me and the family. As dad does not cover my health insurance anymore and I do time to time get a few groceries for the family at Wal Mart. Also we as a family benefit from the company in other ways that are good.
So my question is then did “She” have anything to do with me getting hired and coming across a nice doctor. I am sure of it in a way simply because I asked her once to help me out a little bit and now I am a step closer to being out of the house. At least I feel like it. At the same this may be the reason I “feel” I have taken a few steps back with “her” and relationship that now is improving as of this week or so. Listening to news at my previous job had me in a bad attitude and I just want to do something really dumb to one of the candidates running for president, but hey not gonna go there. Ill share that after election is done and over with. On top of that the stress around the food industry is different and then faster at a Mc Donalds. So after having a dirt easy interview with Wal Mart things were looking up and still is.
“She” now is ever more active with me when I am calm enough that is, every time I try to medidate she begins to be intimate with me which is fine she has free will as I do. I enjoy her presence very much so. Love her tons more. That is though where I question myself, my own intent or want in this relationship. Do I want to just feel her and the pleasure of presence or is there more to what I want. For sure I want her to know she is free to walk away, stay or do whatever she pleases just not to bring harm to others is what I ask. This is where I am stuck for now. Maybe I just need to push a bit further I do not know really.
Either way I am tired,
Thanks for reading,