A lesson repeated.

Hello again.

To be frank a plenty has happened, family and personal path has been a bit more clear.

Death of a few relatives and family pet has occurred over sometime.  First it was the uncles wife then the uncle, which I wish I could have seen more of them but they lived a few hundred miles away and I have obligations at home.  That was around October and I believe January and though it was an easy death for me to let pass through quietly.  The death of the family dog was harder much harder.  The dog died at the age of 11 human years of age, apparently from cancer.  So I saw her suffer at home and Dad the alpha in the pack of the dog and the family decided to do no treatment for her.  I agreed for a few reasons, she was old already around 77 or so and the treatment had small success and she would still suffer.  So to see Dad suffer more so as the dogs death was prolonged would only be harder for everyone.  After she died I found myself in an emotional wreck, I guess it was because it was the first person to die that was close to me.  Days after I found myself crying in a bathroom stall in a Mc Donalds.  As I cried the thought or saying kept repeating itself to let it go. So when I home I cried again uncontrollably so and I learned then what grief truly felt like even after a few weeks we as family still grief this loss in our own ways.  Mom was harsh, but she is calmer now, Dad cried and sought ways to distract himself and I offered him a picture of the dog.  I myself drowned myself in my addictions both bad and good and tried to ease dads grief reached to someone I feel I can trust and got some advice tried to adapt a little of it and it helps dad time to time and me.  Then there was Lily the Succubus that chose to be with me.  She became very active, intimate in a strong sexual or sensual way.  My guess as any she was relieving my pain of loss through distraction and showing her own feeling to me by doing what most lovers do best.  Make love, I could not question it as I was happy and thankful for the acts she did.  Though this brings up something I can address now I guess.

Why sex?  When the love spirit/demon succubus or whatever you call it is brought up why is sex a strong focus point?  When I look at the god/goddess figures some or most say to not hold back thus me crying and receiving strong sexual touches etc from Lily. Sex is powerful because it creates something and can destroy as well if done with that intent.  What are your thoughts?

Speaking of Lily, I can now pickup on what she means or says a bit more clearly especially while we are engaged in intimate activity.

So the lesson that is repeated to me though is to love everyone you see and know in anyway possible rather through help appreciation or keeping your distance.  I want to express my gratitude to you the reader and others in many ways, but society and laws say differently so I can only do so in a few ways now one is by sharing things time to time.

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