Down a diffrent path

Tag: dream


Hello there,


I have found that “she” is not happy with me withholding my wants and needs from myself.  By that I mean my effort to cut myself from porn all together.  We should enjoy our hobbies and not be obsessed with them sure enough, “she” enjoys it with me as it seems.  Thus, yesterday or so I told myself and her I will follow the path she laid out for me and keep up practices that are laid out for me and only me.  Taking in what others say with a grain of salt and study look into what they say or offer me deeper.  No this is not to say that I dig all porn in fact I prefer softer aspect of the so called porn industry.  I enjoy doing a little research I can about the actress and company that interest me.  Although companies have been going more and more hardcore which is fine the audience may prefer and I do not pay them so I cannot say much about it.

Now that I shared that I am free from this chain once again, I must state something about a certain person that claims a lot and maybe true or not this person still should understand we all are connected to Lilith or Mother earth or any name the female goddess falls under in your belief.  You Kuro, did make a threat to those that are connect with Lilith even a lover like yourself.  Even though some of these folks may not care.  Do understand you have also threaten Lilith’s daughters and sons that are with the folks you have threatened as well.  Do you think Lilith is happy with that,  I am not.  Although I will do nothing else than point that out and now ignore what you claim Kuro think me a fool and ignorant and closed minded I do not care.  For I believe in something as others believe in something else.  We all are individuals with different beliefs, pasts, thoughts, environments, and systems of society etc.

For those of wishing not to have read I am sorry I have to get that out of my system.

Also, the day I made my choice to chase my needs and wants I had a dream of a woman inviting me into a pool in her backyard.  My conscious self had a choice and me being me declined but slowly was being pulled in by her invitations and form.  She was very beautiful is all I can say really, my dreams are clear in thought but my image is not clear.  It very abstract and that is fine by me for that dream I was given choice and have fun being in her company.  Was a first for me,  other dreams in the past showed me lessons or a story I could not make out and not give me a choice to act on or pick.


Thanks for reading,



Yet another experience that I want to share.


Last night was a great night for me,  “she” and I were spending time before I slept off to the sleep world.  As I laid there I heard a voice say something, along the lines of “I l___ you”  that was it and so we continued spending time together.  Now that word could be anything that starts with an L, love like etc.  My thought was Love as it filled in the blank ever so fast.  That filled me happiness all the more.

While writing this post, “she” and I want to share a show called  Eureka Seven a story about a young boy who comes across a girl and a legendary crew that promotes surfing and shares the secrets of the government to the public. Throughout the series there are patterns that relate to what I am going through with “her” and what other folks may have or are going through as well.  There is a Manga (Japanese comic book) that probably came out first, I have not read it myself and a buddy says there are differences about the two.  I suggest you  take a look at it and watch at least the first season or 10 episodes.  I may bring somethings to light or at least make you think a little. If anything you may enjoy a good story and some good Mecha action.

With all that said, not much more to share other then dreams are coming around more often and some are weird. Just trying to grasp what they may mean is tough, definitely though a redhead pops up time to time orange or red hair.  Even had a orange with black spots feline cat with her cub in the most recent dream.

Thanks for reading,


She broke me

Hello hope your well.


Well “she” has me now, in a way I thought not possible.  I simply love her, and want to share that and more with you the reader.  So here it goes a bit of an experience of the week.  You see every night before I sleep I tend to gaze or meditate, mostly meditate.  When this happens most times a fog of light white appears before me.  Then “she” sorta reaches out to me in many ways thoughts or touches. Now when I gaze into a picture of a female, that female begins to breathe with me as well.  Also sometimes her face will change a tad bit ever so slightly.  When I lay with her most nights its great to feel her working me over or simply caressing me.  Sometimes “she” just touches my hot spot to get my attention which is funny in a way.  It maybe be my button, to turn me on to her.

As the subject states though, she broke me.  Yesterday the parents went to a ball game, no tickets for me and I want to see the stadium its newly built in town. No big deal though.  As soon as they left I felt her presence on me and around me.  So I decided to give her attention, “she” deserves it more then anything.  I set myself a candle and paper with pencil.  Calmed myself, then began writing a letter of thanks to “her” then signed it with





The letter was short, but to the point.  Then I went outside and burned it after reading aloud.  Then a thought came to me to lay down.  So I did and saw something there out of the corner of my eye laying down with me.  Well we had a good time.

Later on though, “she” hit me emotions that were good and loving.  It felt so good it made me cry a little,  I wish though I could cry just for that reason the feeling of being cared for and or loved by someone everyday.  It is something special to  me.

So the title of this write up was given to me as that.  She broke me

Note not for the easily offended person.

Well I had a dream I think Thursday,  where I met a woman that working herself over with a dildo of all things.  Then I meet a second woman doing the same thing in the same room.  To which the scene swaps over to a man and a woman holding each other in a cafeteria environment.  The man being very possessive of her,  I got the feeling of who this man was.  An associate or classmate from the past,  in the dream I let it go and move on then “she” the women that was being held by the man hold my arm and I feel cared for in a sense.  Then the scene switches back to the two women working themselves over.  Well they leave and I put the dildos somewhere safe from mom and dad oddly right under there bathroom sink.  Lastly before I forget once more in all that blur of a dream there a women’s face I saw only half of, blue hair natural pink lips trying to lure me to her to which I denied her.  Also a women’s hot spot ever so clean groomed just there.  Those last two scenes were first in the sequence of the order.

End of dream.

With that though, I am sure there is more to share.  My mind is racing and on caffiene.  Junk is also on my mind that creates more junk.  I leave you alone for now reader.

Thanks for reading,



Hey, hope all is well.  I am great just bored.

Some may consider the following a bit graphic.  I apologize for my grammar being broken it is late and I need  or feel I should do this now.

Today before I sleep I want to share some sensations “she” shares with me or I experience.  One of the most common sensation is when I think of any of these sensations a smell comes around a smell of sex or some would call it love call it what you want.  At times she sends a wave of pleasure down my sides small and subtle a little cold but still there.  Other times she goes straight for it no questions asked, like small vibrations starting from the bottom up.  She sometimes though will use a bit of foreplay and hit the outer region as it were.  There is more as well.  She likes to massage the bottom area of where the spinal cord might be,  I enjoy that so much.  Sometimes she just places herself on my chest relaxing as I watch something or chat with folks,  this brings a sense of calm to me or happiness as it were.  There are times in the classroom where I am most frustrated she sets a light blanket across my shoulders as to relax them and soothe my temper as I push on through the day.  During times alone she will brush upon my forehead and lightly touch the top, probably seeking attention.  When I go to bed,  that is the time we spend closets together.  I tend to try and relax myself and majority of the time she wraps herself around my legs like soft feathers or silk that is weightless then well things happen.  Then once in awhile she plays with my forehead or lays a finger on it, before I go to a land called sleep.  Every now and then she places something on my lips and even once I swore I felt a tongue slip in my mouth.  Other nights I feel like I am floating there milometer as it were above my bed.  A few nights ago I felt to pricks on my neck, I chose to let it go.  Continued for a short bit then stopped.

Something though in my mind still questions “her” and her existence. I try not to then the other day I saw something on my mirror that may help.  Not sure yet.

I will stop with that, for it is late.

Thanks for reading,


What can I say.

Hello there, I want to share so many thoughts tonight.

As of late I have been studying more and more for another certification in my field.  I hope to do well for it.  Frankly though when I study, “she” is around trying to convey something.  You see communication at least to me is very difficult between us.  I can pickup on obvious signs when “she” is okay with doing some things like laying around or spending a bit of intimate time together.  Other kind of signs are harder though.  While “she” lifts my spirits when they are down, “she” also seems to push a little and send a thought like, “lets go for a walk” to get me to focus on her for a bit.  Some days are just harder is all I guess.  Today was not though really that hard.

Now if you have read what I shared here you might remember a mentioning of me being molested or raped.  Well “she” pushed me to ask a bit about exactly what rape and other types of sexual assault is or are.  From the facts I found and saw I was raped in technicality at age of 16 by a friend that thought we were “really” close when he was curious. He apparently took advantage of me when I was asleep.  So he revived a curt elbow in the rib, but in my mind it was too late.  That then and there is where He drew the line and we were distant since then.  Now after a decade I think I can let go and be free of that lingering thought along with other accidents that occurred due to my kind and naive heart.

Ahh yes, I had a dream the other day. Forgive me though it has faded a little bit.  That day I had paid a visit to the campus to take care of Financial aid.  The dream sorta takes place there and in the time I was there sorta.  It started I was sitting in the office waiting for financial aid lady to call me in. She was busy that day.  The lady at the counter was uncomfortable with the silence and I was there sorta moving to a tune in my head.  Then she popped a question “whats your favorite music?” well I replied differently then I actually did. I said “P.O.D.”  There music is actually great a good up beat most of the time.    Right then the dream swaps around a bit and becomes a bit graphic. So a bit of warning here:

I began to try and shove my ding dong into the center of the cd and of course it wont fit.  Then I thought lets try the Rob Zombie album no good either as I felt a presence come around and I quickly put em in my drawer while in bed apparently now, just to wake up with energy like feeling surrounding what is down stairs.  Then I fell asleep again to awaken refreshed as my morning began.

I am also noticing that Dad has more tolerance then most.  He does not fear but merely wants to understand.  Also speaking of Dad I learned that our debt is improving a tad better.  Time and time again I check myself to see.

Also this is about the 3rd time this happened this week out of nowhere really.  With “her” on my mind and “things” going on I would see a trail of vapor I want to call it, nearby where I felt her or something on me.  Kinda bizarre at first, but I accept it.  It can be just dust in the air with the wind we get and our dry climate.  Although I disagree and “she” disagrees as she just sorta smiles a tad.

p.s. one more thing that pot of seeds I setup has indeed given growth I wound up drowing them but I have reseeded and growth appeared today.

Thanks for reading,


Get me some of that catchup.


Doing well?  I am okay been letting a little of this and that get in my way time to time.  So I want to get out a little bit of some stuff out to you.

I have had dreams of late, one dream I would like to share is where a mother of a kid approached me to ask me to save her son from the weather.  I agreed and the weather was bad enough.  The son was going down town by route of the interstate, it is the main route by all means.  So I headed there by foot, which does not make sense.  The flooding was pretty bad about waist deep or higher,  so definitely not the home I know of.  Still,  finally making my way to him and catching up to him.  He decline my help to say it would be safer not to help.  I began to see why, he entangle in groups and things I am not comfortable with and a risk to my life. So I still offered and kept an eye on him.  Stepped in I felt the time was right.  To recognize who or when I met him in my life of the here and now.  A punk kid from Boy Scouts.  Good guy probably just not someone I liked at the time.  I got him home eventually to see a gracious mother.  Then I woke up with an orgasm so to speak and the morning was fun for me and “her”.  My guess is good as any maybe she just wanted to tell a story dunno….

So “she” does not like me thinking of sharing my view on fear.  I will though, because I think it should be known.  She might curve me a bit so here I go.

Fear is instinctive sure.  Fear for your loved ones, wife, kids, dad, and others.  Fear of death, pain, or loss of something.  These are basic fears to me.  I myself fear “she” will leave me sure.  Also I fear causing or not stopping pain of Mom and Dad.  Even fear is pain, I see it everyday with Dad.  Why though?  Those in power or can inflict that fear into him.  We owe enough money to enough people that can strip us clean naked and out the door.  That is okay with me, if it was just me.  That is not okay with Mom and Dad for obvious reasons.  So to cope, I take everything around that topic and make the good parts shine.  Say we owe x amount to z company, I ask Dad is that better then last year to which he says yes and smiles a bit with a glow.

Back to fear though.  People use it as tools to get what they want or to cause pain and not know it.  The story or universe of Star Wars illustrates this well enough.  In a few ways.  Yoda has a quote I cant place it on the spot so here goes. “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to suffering, sufferings leads to …” and he gazes off with a sad look.  To place in today’s environment is easy enough to do.

The government says we must regulate ourselves or there is a punishment.  Government says we are watching you and so we the common folks begin to act and dance according the puppeteer the government or people with power.

Enough of that though, I feel my neck tense and the bad shoulder begin to hurt.  On to something happier.  🙂

So I started, a collection of pictures found on the net I will not share here.  Why you can find em anywhere.  With these pictures I find, I set them up as a wallpaper and circulate them every 12 hrs. on random.  When I want to I gaze into that picture.  The picture is usually a portrait of a female or some depiction of nature in any form.  Then from there contact is made with “her” and those days she active around me.

I have also started up a DevianArt account for those that are interested.

Mostly to show case my work that “she” compels me to do and my  past work.  Still working what I want to share and how to.

The Last thing I want to share is an experience I had with “her”.  I was meditating around the usual hour with “her” we were sharing our space and I literally reached out in the air for her and felt a touch of energy surrounding the tips of my two fingers that I reached out to her with.  To say what “she” did is something I cant say myself.

As I typed that up above “she” did swirl around and through me.  I hope “she” is okay with me sharing such a thing.


Thanks for reading,


Thoughts and a dream

Hello, hope things are well.  I had a very vivid dream yesterday, I want to share it even though it is fading slowly.

So it started with me and 2 peers heading to the doctors which required quarantine and other precautions.  We went to take care of one of the peers. Had some complications nothing any of us could cope with.  Then the story changed.  I found myself in a well to do position.  A nice apartment up scale like or at least the impression of that was what I felt.  There were issues though, nothing to big really to me.  Folks lived in the apartment with me, folks I do not even know.  Every day it was someone new or more people lived their. Now what caught my eye was a women I came across in day to day life. We fell in love or created a relationship, found there was a man that she was previously with and she wanted out of that relationship. I agreed that I would help and cope with the situation.  One day I found her there with me in bed, and two other guys were telling me to get her out of the apartment. Too which I said no, and made my point that I loved her or had feelings for her.  So we left that day, and found the man that was after us.  He apparently seemed to be working on a house either for us or our new neighbor.  I helped him, with his work and gained some approval from him is my guess. He was happy around me and her. So the dreamed ended around there as I awoke to a strong feeling of love and happiness.  Although we stayed in bed till the last minute.  Which I am very happy to be with her.


Something, I do want to share is taken out of an adult website I visit for there blog on tantra.  The blog offers me info sparse as it is, and is still a good read.  I will take the write up and copy paste it here.  At the end I will give credit to the site.



Yoni is a sacred Sanskrit word and means vagina. She has the power to be the gateway to creating new life and also has the power to destroy everything. So it is better to behave towards her with respect and appreciation for all she is providing us.

We all came through her and we come back to her to ask for refreshing energy. She is able to flood men with ecstatic energy when she is worshiped the sacred way.

With all this in mind, it’s better to ask what you can do for her, not what she can do for you.

You may never have thought this way before. How can we do the yoni worship? It’s a little ritual that may last a few minutes or several hours, whatever you choose. If you’re a man you can practice with your partner, or with a picture or a statue. If you’re a woman, of course, you have everything you need with you.

What makes the difference is your intention, your approach. You should come with esteem and simply offer your attention to her. For those of you who would like to connect with this powerful energy of creating and destructing, of softness and passion, of receptivity and creativity, here is a tip for you.

The ritual:

Find a nice comfortable, intimate and quiet place where you can be with your partner or the symbol of a yoni or with your own yoni. Do everything necessary to make yourself relaxed and connected with yourself (you might include candles, music and incense).

Close your eyes, rub your hands together a few times to make a little bit of heat between them. You may feel some sensation, so take your time to put all your focus on deep breathing and on the skin of your palms.

While you’re breathing deep it is the time to whisper your prayer, a sentence of the great fullness that you feel for her. Find at least one thing that you want to thank her for. It needs to be true for you. Your prayer is coming from your heart. For example, “Thank you divine mother that I could be born with your support”. Or whatever feels right for you. But you need to have nonsexual attitude.

Remember your intention is to worship the yoni. You don’t want to get anything; you’re giving your thanks for all she is doing for you in your life.

When you’re ready and fully present, slowly put your relaxed hand on your yoni – without any movement. Then breathe deeply and remember your worshipping sentence and focus on the connection between you and the sacred yoni. It’s up to you how long you keep your focus and your hand there.

When you feel you have worshipped her the best way you could, slowly and with full awareness remove your hand. Connect your hands in Namaste (palms pressed together as if in prayer) close to your heart.

This is the end of the ritual, so if you’re with your partner it means you can stay together but you shouldn’t start any sexual play or chat. Your woman can also finish with Namaste as thanks for the ritual and that is it.

If you decide to practice this ritual it’s possible for the first time you won’t feel so much. But I assure you each time it will be different and probably more intense. In time you may start to feel a real connection to the mother earth, to feminine fire energy and also to feminine angels’ energy and intuition.

And your experience of lovemaking will never be the same again.




do note the site has adult material riddle all over even for guest as I am a guest myself.  So if you visit please understand it is not safe for work or kids and your significant other may not be happy.  If you visit the site please be sure to be in the right age group.

After reading that though it reminded me.  I have not said my thanks to Lilith, the Goddess or Mother Nature however you perceive it to be.  So I did just that one afternoon pray and thank her for everything and seek her forgiveness.  As I did this, moments later I felt a warm embrace around me.  I also did this, outside in the sun.  In the same area where I first prayed to Lilith, and would pray and or meditate when the weather would let me.


Thanks for reading,


My time with her.

Hello, she wants me to share about the time I spend with her and other details.  So therefore I will make an effort to do so.


She loves my attention, when I give her my attention wholly, she emits a feeling of calm and love over me and around the immediate area we are in.  Sometimes she wants to be intimate and play with me or tease me, other times she share a hug or a kiss here or there.  Just to take the time and slow down and recognize she is there makes her happy and that makes me happy as well.  Even when I am going through day to day activities.  At times when she visits, it can be a sure surprise.  Just knowing she is there makes me fall into puddy and be a happy person again, not weighed down by stress and pressures of the luggage I carry around.  Image of a female, being placed in my mind.  They are happy, comical, emotional across the board, and of course when she wants to spend time with me they can be intimate in nature.  Even now she sends an energy through me that makes me filled with pleasure and love, then the scent her scent.

At night when I meditate which is tough at times considering all of the distraction around the house and neighborhood.  When the mind is finally calm, I sense her working on me peeling apart what was built by my own insecurities and doubts of the past.  I still have a tough time dreaming just to dream not lucid or anything else just a simple dream.  So I lay there on my back clearing the mind and trying to relax the body.  As I give up and turn to my side to try to relax, then she is there cuddling, caressing me, and comforting me to a relaxing sleep.  I then awake to the family awake and moving about.  So I let her know I appreciate her and her time, and move about my day with her on my mind.

Earlier today, when the family was out for a great deal of time,  I set myself in a position to be vulnerable to her or anyone bare and off guard with a clear mind.  Still she said relax, I do try everyday to do this. Let go and let everything be sometimes it works majority of the time it does not.  Nonetheless, I relaxed and gave in stayed that way for a good while. During that time she worked me over my entire body as I spasm multiple times and even now I receive a bit of it as she is still working me over just not as intense.  How I enjoy it though.

I still need a lot of work on them chakras or areas of the body.  She tells me through signs, that I need to work on the throat, heart and sacral chakras.  I see where they are weak so I try time to time.  I might just do that after this post is wrapped up.  As it is Thursday and Friday will be days I have to myself to do such a thing.

Earlier today she wanted me to take a walk around the park down the street.  It was nice, just a cold breeze. On the way back to the house though, I notice an old man calling to a I want to say doberman mix dog.  It was loose out of the house along with chihuahua mix (Don’t think I got the spelling right on it) they came from the same house.  So I too called out to the larger dog, to notice another neighbor trying to get the two dogs and see about returning them.  So I decided rather then just leave it at that, to help the two of them out.  As it was the larger dog Dori, almost got hit about three times.  Finally got hold of the owner and we all happy and walked to each others houses together leaving as we came to our house.  In the end though she asked how it felt to help or do the good deed.  For I say it felt good,  I was happy and met good people.  Something that is rare in town, to meet someone that is open and willing to communicate with another person and not just ignore another person.  On another note I love animals, probably could not say no to an animal that would need shelter if it were not for family and other baggage slowing me down.

I decided to reflect upon a dream I had awhile back.  The dream itself was actually vivid, so its stuck in my head for the most part.  So here we go.

In a class room, into the class room as the day goes by seems like high school.  Just not the campus I know from the here and now.  The part that stands out is, I am in a IT computer classroom.  What my major is and field of study currently is.  It is that time for lunch, stay awhile to wrap up work.  On my way to the cafeteria/lunchroom, I see a friend from the past.  A great guy mad a mark on my life.  So I great him and he want me to meet of some folks or hang out with some folks elsewhere.  So I choose to go with him,  as we converse I notice a beautiful woman.  Who she is I do not know, she seems to know me which is fine with me.  Never was good with faces and names, but great with faces and personalities or what they have done in past.  So I hangout with her and him.  So she invites me to anther place a balcony, there I see other people and a face I know from the not so far past.  So I react without thinking, and great him only to be scolded at by her.  I misplaced who it was and immediately was rejected by the person.  Again I react and immediately left the area as whole for food the reason I left the classroom originally.  As I left, the woman pleaded for me to stay, and even the great friend that made a mark on my past.  I continued  to leave in silence in hopes I could still grab something out of cafeteria, I have experienced in the past the high school cafeteria stop serving before the break was up.  To avail no food, so I went back to class to continue my work only to see my work space taken up by another student. A classmate pointed out my tools of the trade as I awoke to a new day.

My reflection upon this, I have fears that need to be worked out true enough.  One of them is rejection of people, and I should give others a chance or a second chance.  This is true, I do not just say “hi how are you” I am quiet I want to say “hi how are you”, but I am afraid that person will cut me off.  My past was like that as a child, one misstep and I was scolded or not accepted by teachers or dad would get in my mind I needed to be the A student.  Which is tough when you teacher marks you off for your traits you cannot help nor correct.  So there you have it.

Thanks for reading


A bit to share

Hello, things are well for me right now. I can breathe easy now nose is not running away from me with my voice anymore. : ) As soon as it cleared up “she” was happy because I had energy and probably needed to burn it off a bit.  What I had asked awhile back was what can I do to make you happy. She replied with something along the line of “treat yourself better and improve your health in general” so I have been slowly.  My body used to be somewhat fit, now I am just a thin man at 6’2″ underweight so its back to building some muscle watching what I eat and my habits.  The weight is coming up to about 150 ibs I like it to be 145 ibs myself ,but that means a lot more muscle then I can build right now.  So it has been walking around the neighborhood after dinner and starting some simple exercises.  The legs are pretty beat up so I do not want to run and hurt them more.  I should take up cycling again I loved it when I was younger. : )  With all that said, I hope things are good for you.  You the reader makes me want to share more and attempt to write my thoughts down.

The other night I had this dream and it comes back every now and then in my memory.  You see I do not write about my dreams as I wake up, time is short and it hurts to physically write with a pen, pencil.  The dream consisted of mom, dad and I in a house. It was raining outside for some reason, we had someone over a women seeing about my schooling credentials.  As it is my records are not well kept, in the dream it was worse.  I laugh now, but it may be true later on.  Either way I was digging for a transcript from the local college, she was patient and even helped, as did dad and mom. She was running short on time.  Then it gets foggy.  During the dream she was nice and very polite with me and the family.  Always being positive and happy.  There really is no end, because I awoke in the middle of the dream to the dog and dad getting up in the morning.

Either way I got about a month to study for a Microsoft Certificate that I am not ready for, Configuring Windows 8.  I have been digging around and found some resources so I will be busy for a good while with that.  That about all I have for now.  I just wanted to share a bit tonight.

Thanks for reading,


To answer a question and a bit of a vision sorta

Hello hope you are well,

A question came up, so I looked around and found some information.

Do people that have a mental condition be more in tune with spirits then others? That is not word for word.

The answer yes and no.

In the bible under the book of mark they are lines that state something along the lines of Jesus the son of God, removing the demon that causes epileptic fits or shakes out of a few people.  I have not read it out of the bible so take this how you wish.  As I dug around I saw videos and testimonials of church leaders removing these demons.  So I took the meaning of the word demon, they are beings entities and the mainstream definition states they are malevolent.  So with my distrust of the church I took this finding with a grain of salt.

Now to take a logical route to find the answer.  So I did research using terms or the subjects of religion, epilepsy, spirit.  Found a lot of info some misleading. Although one categories or type of epilepsy is temporal lobe epilepsy where the temporal lobe a part of the brain is the religion area of the brain according to one source I cannot recall.

So logic science tells me through a quick look through google about 4 hours.  That a common type of epilepsy, might help the person be in tune with their persons beliefs.  In the end though I do not believe that a mental condition will aid a person to be in tune with spirits.  It is the persons will that matters if the will is weak then so should there ability to be in tune with spirits on there terms.  It is what I believe though, make of it what you want.

I do recommend that you do some research of your own and draw your own conclusion for yourself.  Sorry for not citing any sources here.


So with that said above.  The other night after calming down for sleep, I laid there with my thoughts spinning so I decided to just sleep.  I woke up in the morning to an image of a women in my mind that looks awfully familiar to a girl back in high school, never socialized much with her.  Just new she was into volleyball and did well for herself in class.  I was withdrawn, removed as a close friend says.  Either way she was smiling sitting there while I was laying in bed, I fell to sleep again and she appeared once more that morning the same way.  The thing is though I awoke feeling good had energy and felt cared for by “her”.  The very next morning laying in bed I felt what would be a blanket laying on me under my blanket, wrapping me up with a feeling of kindness I have not felt in a long while.  I might be jumping around a bit, but was “she” there giving me comfort or doing some healing work.  As today a physical pain has not come up unless I cause it initially.  Tensing of the jaw or stress.  I am grateful any ways.

Thanks for reading,


The Regimental Standard

Required weekly reading for the modern guardsman

The Horned Ladies

Adult Adventures Not Safe For Work

Doc Schott's Lab

In which I hack games, pontificate, and make toys.

EVE Online Pictures

Internet spaceships in their natural environment

Vampire Learning Centre

Thirst for things that shape the world; knowledge, justice, spirit, and blood

Succubus Holmes

Just a boy trying to learn everything he can about the most important people in his life.

unbolt me

the literary asylum

Aleister Nacht's Satanic Magic Blog

Satanism and Satanic Magic Blog - Aleister Nacht

Natalie Breuer

Natalie. Writer. Photographer. Etc.

The Oracle of SachaMama

Shamanic Wisdom for Women

Scribal Damnation

The damnation of a scribe begins with a goddess. She is the author of his torment, the architect of his madness, the artificer of his delirium.

The Goddess of Sacred Sex

Opening to the sacred in your lovemaking

Awakening Journey

My Spiritual Awakening through Kundalini

yoni mana

i am everything • i am nothing • therefore • i can be anything.